Me and My Friend Patience

I have learned a lot in this last year on my journey towards adoption. I have grown a little more patient... Funny how not getting something you really want makes you more patient. You would think I would get irritable, anxious, and frustrated instead of patient.

I remember the first children I was called about. I had to say no. They had so many needs and I knew I wouldn't be able to meet all their needs. Although I knew I did the right thing by saying no I struggled with that decision. These were children. Not a car or house or job or some cute puppy I wanted. I had said no to a child... two children actually.

My dear friend Steve said one short sentence that brought me much comfort and peace with my decision. He said, "You're not their savior." Those few words were so powerful. I could trust God with my decision. I could trust God with future decisions. God has called me to parent specific children. God has called someone else to parent the children I have said no to... not me.

And so I continue to hang out with my old friend Patience and wait...

I could say that I would love to have kids before Christmas. I could say that I would love to have kids next week... but the truth is the Lord is teaching me that His time is perfect. One day from now or three years from now... probably somewhere in between, I will be a mom...
Thank you Lord for your perfect timing. Thank you that I don't have to worry about "missing" the kids you have for me. Thank you Lord for the wait... I know you are making me more like you everyday.

For now I know I can hold on in faith knowing You have put this desire in me and in Your perfect time, the day will come.