Tender Moments of Trial

I am the type of person who everyone around me knows when I am going through a trial. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I don't hide what is going on with me too well. My family and friends can hear me just say "hello" on the phone and know whether I having a hard day or not. Because most people know when I am in a trial, I have many people praying for me, asking me how I am doing, challenging me on how I am viewing this trial and whether or not I am trusting God in the midst of the trial. I am swarmed with love and care. Yet even in the midst of all of this love and care, I can feel very alone in a trial because I am the one going through the trial. It is good that we are reminded in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

"No temptation has seized (overtaken) you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

How easy it is to feel in a trial that you are the only one who has ever had this trial and that you are all alone. The bible tells me that no trial has overtaken me that someone else hasn't gone through already. It tells me that God is a faithful God and will not crush me in the trial, but only give me enough of the trial to make me more like him. He will also provide a way out of the trial through His mercy and grace so that I can endure the trial and bring glory to Him.

I memorized this scripture years ago when I had a lot of health problems. This scripture just oozes of hope.

Although I feel very alone during a trial at times, it is not a bad thing most of the time. It is a special time of one on one time with the Lord. I might be at home "physically alone" with no one around. I find my mind wander to thoughts of the trial. My mind starts with just the facts. (I am tired. I work long hours. I don't see much of my friends anymore.) I usually try to then preach to myself. (God is good. He is in control. He knows what He is doing. He is very aware of my current situation, and is working all things out for my good. He will show me what direction to go in. He will give me the strength to endure.) I try to have worship music on every moment I am awake especially when I am in a trial. I play songs that will encourage me in the trial, challenge me to trust in God, and persevere. I have a CD in my car that I made I call Trial Music. It is on every moment I am in the car. When I am working on my computer, typing my reports, I have my Trial Music playing. When I am getting ready in the morning I have worship music playing. I want my soul to be filled with the Truth of His faithfulness. I know that left on my own I could spiral down quickly and fall into deep depression and despair. There are so many times I feel like I can barely breath because the load is so heavy. I try to take a break at those times and reflect on the sovereignty of God and His mercy to me.

I love these definitions I heard a while ago for grace and mercy:

Grace is giving us what we don't deserve. (Salvation through Jesus Christ.)
Mercy is not giving us what we do deserve. (Hell, and eternal separation from God.)

If I have nothing else in my life but grace and mercy... I am blessed abundantly, and can ask for nothing else.

There is a special, intimate time with God when going through a trial. No one likes to go through trials, but I must say the time with the Lord during a trial is the most precious thing I have experienced. It is a taste of heaven. There aren't trials in heaven, but you are in the wonderful, glorious presence of the Lord in heaven. Trials can be a time of basking in the presence of the Lord and knowing He is in control and just curling up in His arms while He carries you to safety.

I have seen my trust in the Lord grow as different trials come and go. I still have a long way to go though. I know that the Lord, in His great love will continue to bring more trials into my life so that I may trust in Him even more. I know that all trials are for my good and for God's glory. I don't understand most of the trials in my life. But I do know that the Lord is there working it all out for my good. I only see the back of the tapestry full of knots, and different threads beginning and ending. I see all the threads intertwined and it looks like chaos. But the Lord sees the front of the tapestry. He sees a beautiful masterpiece in progress.

Thank you Lord for the trials. I am on holy ground.