Spectacular Peace

I was just thinking about how I have been preaching to myself about God's faithfulness. I know that He is going to help me know what to say when I get a call about some children. It is silly for me to worry that I will say yes to the wrong kids or no to the right ones. God did not put the desire to adopt over a decade ago, guide me through all the hoops you have to jump through, and then pick the perfect job and the perfect time and circumstances for me to adopt only to let me screw it all up.

When I am tempted to fear and think about the "what if's" ~ what if they call about a newborn? What if they call about three girls? (Because they did approve me for three girls...), What if they call about girls that have a lot of special needs? Can I handle all of this? What does the Lord want me to do? Will I feel a pit in my stomach if I am to say "no" and complete peace if I am to say "yes?" The list goes on and on…

I have to just fall back on my faithful God. He gave me the gift of my trip to China to help me through this time. I thought I was going to help the persecuted church. The Lord was building a foundation in me during that time… a strong foundation.

When I first arrived in China I got lost. I mean REALLY lost. No one in the entire world knew where I was. I couldn't get a hold of my contact. I was completely and utterly lost. But I remembered. I wasn't alone. God knew where I was... exactly where He wanted me. I was completely found. I will treasure those few minutes I had with the Lord for my entire life. Without a doubt those few minutes were the sweetest of my life. I came to a crossroad. I knew that I had a choice to make. I could either believe that I was lost and without hope or I could believe that I was found and full of hope. God was either Faithful or a liar. I sat down and for a few minutes soaked in the joy and hope the Lord offers us. I sat in complete confidence that this was a special moment between me and my God. He wanted me to be still and wait. We were on the most amazing vacation together. At that moment I just sat, and waited. I knew He would tell me what to do when it was time. I had no hope in myself. In the past at times I have placed my entire faith in God. Put all my eggs in one basket so to speak. But this is the first time I remember doing it with complete joy. Complete peace. I didn't say, "Oh I hope this works. I hope God comes through." I just surrendered and then rested in His glory. Words can’t describe how spectacular, how amazing that time was.

When I got back home after that trip I had a friend say to me, "The same God that was with you in China is with you here... don't forget that."

When all my fears and what if's surface... I don't want to forget that He is the same God. I want to rest in that spectacular peace He offers. I’ll let Him figure out the details.