His Kindness Leads Us

E has been a little challenging lately. We just moved to our new house which is a blessing and in the end a great help for her, but it was for the short term more instability. We are getting pretty close to the adoption hearing, and she has heard more talk about adoption. At 7 years old, there is only so much she can understand about adoption and its permanence and I am sure there are a lot of questions and insecurities.

For the past few weeks she has been in meltdown mode around bedtime which starts around 6pm. I was regularly reading her stories at night but when she would tantrum I would tell her she lost her stories. She could have books to look at in bed, but I was not going to read to her.

Tonight the Lord convicted me to try something different. He laid it on my heart that my time with E should not be dependent on her response or behaviors. Bedtime is the most challenging time of night for most kids. It's dark, there are noises, they are trying to go to sleep and their minds are still going a mile a minute. Bedtime is not the time to pull back, but to press in.

Here were the verses He brought to mind...

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

God's kindness leads you to repentance. Romans 2:4b

We love, because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19

She had her tantrum... and then I told her I was going to read her a story. She asked why she was getting a story. I told her because I want her to know that no matter how she acts or what she does, I will never stop loving her. I told her that God doesn't just love us when we are good. He loves us always and nothing can ever change that. I told her I love her too... no matter what she does and then we read a story.


Being a mother is the hardest job I have ever had and will probably ever have... but I am learning so much about our Savior in being a parent. I am learning to cry out to Him for help. I am seeing more and more how patient He is with me and I am challenged to be more patient. I am learning that even when I screw up, disobey, and totally blow it... He still loves me. I pray that E will know that too.






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