Walking on Water

I have been so blessed at the amount of support I have received regarding adopting. My family and friends have been very encouraging. I suspect however that there are a few of you lurking out there that wonder... "What in the world is she doing? Does she know how hard this is going to be? Being a parent is hard enough when you have a spouse! Good heavens, why would you choose to do this as a single? Is she that desperate to have kids? Maybe since she hasn't gotten married yet she thinks her clock is ticking away and she needed to do something..." To all of you... I would like to share my thoughts below...

I can't talk about adopting without first talking about my trip to over China 5 years ago... I had been subscribing to a newsletter for the persecuted church for about a year... Every month I read the newsletter and prayed... One month however was different. I read the newsletter and just felt like God wanted me to do more. My first thought was to try and get a job working with the agency that was helping the persecuted church. I looked up their address... Uhhhh... their offices are in LA... As in California... I am not moving to California. Ok, plan B...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I remembered a man coming to our church talking about going on trips as a carrier smuggling Bibles into China.... hmmm, I could do that. I instantly had a peace about going. For the next 18 months I prayed and prepared for my trip to China. A million miracles happened along the way to make it possible... I just knew that I was to go and the Lord gave me a peace about all the things that didn't make sense... (I had a shoulder injury and had to carry up to 70 pounds of bibles on my back. I was unemployed and had no money. I had migraine problems. I am allergic to everything. I was going alone. I get lost unbelievably easy.) It just didn't make sense to go... but God was calling me to go and I was at total peace. Those around me... well, some of you were also at peace, but more were probably really worried about me. Some of you even thought you would never see me again... I didn't know what was going to happen or how it would all work out. I just knew I had to go and I wanted to go. I felt like Peter walking on the water... I was walking on faith.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The above story also describes my journey to adoption. For over 10 years I have had the desire to adopt... I have felt called. Not because my biological clock was ticking away. It was like the feeling I had when I read the newsletter... God was tugging at my heart and provided a way for me to adopt... I believe He has opened the doors and said, "Just take one step at a time... this is going to be amazing... Trust me..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wasn't the perfect candidate to go to China, but the Lord used me. He likes using the weak ones. The ones that look like the most ridiculous to send... because when it all works out, God receives the glory! Everyone knows it took a miracle... no one ever said, "Wow, you did it all by yourself... You are great!" People saw what I did in China and said... "There really is a God, because you would have been the last person I would have picked for that... I didn't think you could have done that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God chose me to be a mom... I always thought I would adopt when I was married and didn't think I would adopt if I wasn't married. I am fully aware this is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I am fully aware that I don't know what I am getting into. I am fully aware that I am doing something that doesn't make sense and is crazy!...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But that peace... I am fully aware of that amazing peace and because of that... I go forward trusting. Walking on water... I hear Jesus calling me to talk a step of faith and not look down. He is saying, “Don’t look at all the circumstances around you... just look at me... I will be with you. I will keep you safe... Together, we will do this." And because He has called me… because He is with me… I am adopting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sorry about the spacing... Blogger was giving me problems...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Photo credit Isac Goulart