Once Upon a Time...

Well, UNemployment has been pretty UNexciting so far... I am going on my second week of living in my PJ's and lying on the couch all day. Did I turn into a couch potato you might ask? Well, some might argue that I have, but I have been sick. I have this cough with some other stuff I will spare you that just zaps all my energy. My big day out was going to the pharmacy a few blocks away. I was couch-ridden the rest of the night after that trip that lasted a whole 10 minutes. Last night I had some flu symptoms and even drinking water was making me sicker.

The great news is that I am by God's grace able to take this time to rest and get better. I praise God for the internet so I can still job hunt while on the couch in my PJ's.

I was thinking back the last few days of the last two years of my employment. I was thinking of how incredibly difficult that first year was and how I prayed for the job to end. There were days I really didn't think I could make it to the next day. Yet the Lord gave me grace to keep pressing on and last another year. The last year was difficult as well, but the Lord gave me a peace that "this too shall pass" and in His perfect time this season of my life would come to an end. I remember thinking of the day I would no longer be working at that job and wanting to do my very best while I was there, but also holding onto the hope that something new was coming on the horizon. I actually got to a point in my job that I was able (and willing) to stay at that job indefinitely, years more even, if that was the Lord's plan for me... funny really, as soon as I got to that point was when the Lord ended the trial. Being content is a wonderful place to be.

I felt at times in this last job that I was stretched far beyond what I was able - and ready to break... yet I never did break, and the Lord always met me where I was. I learned to rest in His grace for today, and leave tomorrow up to Him. There wasn't grace for tomorrow's woes, only today's. Isn't the Lord amazing to know exactly what trials we need to grow and to stretch us to leave our comfort zones and trust in Him completely for our every need?

Being unemployed. Been here before. I know the Lord didn't fail me before, and I know that I know that I know He won't fail me now. I can't wait to see what door He opens next. I had a friend call me last night about a part-time job in social services. I thanked her for thinking of me and shared that I have left social services for good and don't know where the Lord is leading next, except that I feel a total peace to not return to the field I have been in for over a decade. Her first words were, "Oh thank God! Praise the Lord!" My family had a similar response.

If I had to do it all over again, I think I would have had a double major in college. (My family is probably thinking - then you would probably still be in school, as it took you forever to get through college with one major.) I think I would have still worked in social services for a while as it was a real opportunity to reach out to people in their darkest hour. The Lord gave me some very wonderful opportunities to reach out to His lost children and share the hope we have in Jesus. But looking back I don't think I would have been able to stay in this field indefinitely. That is where the second major would come in. I would have dabbled some on the side in something (I don't know what the second major would have been... you see, I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up) and then when I was ready to switch fields, I would already have the education and some experience.

I am resting contently in the Lord though, so I don't have to look back with regret. So what am I going to do? Well, as a good friend once told me... "That is none of my business." That is in the Lord's hands, and totally up to Him. I am knocking on doors, but He will decide which door will open. I am just called to knock.

What a peace there is in knowing He is in control. If you truly believe that God is good, and God is sovereign over all things, and God is faithful, then you really won't worry. I feel like a kid in a car with her dad. I keep asking, "Where are we going Dad?" and my Dad responds, "It's a surprise, but we're almost there. Oh I know you are going to love this." I am not worried about where I am going or how I am getting there because I know my Daddy has everything under control. And the exciting part is - this is just the beginning... there is so much more to the story...