I was hesitant to write about this on my blog, but I think that those of you that know me, will be grateful to know that the Lord is working on this area of my life and for that reason, decided to share.
Many years ago (about 10) I decided I wanted to order a Total Gym (the one you see Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley endorsing on TV.) I called the number on my TV screen and talked with the telemarketer for about an hour and a half. I asked a million questions. If they didn’t know the answer they got their supervisor. If the supervisor didn’t know the answer, they got their supervisor. One of the selling features was instead of a 30 day trial period I had a 60 day trial period. Eventually it was time to wheel and deal. I was able to get the Total Gym for just about half the asking price. I was really proud of myself.
The day my gym finally came I was so excited. I unpacked it. Read all the instructions and materials. One of the inserts said 30 day trial period. I immediately called the company because the gym I ordered said 60 day trial period. The customer service person said that the gym I had was refurbished and had a 30 day trial period. I had a fit. I asked to speak to a supervisor immediately. I explained how long I spoke to all the supervisors, the million questions I asked, the money I invested, etc, etc. I wanted this problem fixed. The supervisor was nice and said that they would send out a new gym and that I should receive it in 2-3 weeks. Well when 3 weeks came and went I called the company and asked them what kind of business they were running and that I hadn’t received the gym yet. The said that they would make sure one was sent out right away and that I could keep the old one. About a week later the UPS guy showed up with TWO gyms. So now I had a total of THREE Total Gyms. These are expensive pieces of equipment. I called the company and they said I could keep all three but that if there were any more problems I couldn’t get any more gyms only replacement parts. I sold two of the gyms and kept one. I wound up having problems with the one I kept and amazingly, they sent me a new gym again, but I had to send the old one back and they paid for the shipping. Through all of this they were very nice even when I was the irate customer.
A few weeks ago the battery on my cell phone was only lasting about 20 minutes. The battery was only a few months old. In the past I would have gone to Verizon and insisted on a free battery. Instead when they told me that they would give me 50% off a new battery I said thanks and paid for the battery.
Today I went to pay my taxes. I made an error and the amount I owed was $100.00 more than I was expecting. The man was so sweet and said, “You can come back if you don’t have it.” I think in the past I would have come back with a smart answer and said, “It is April 12th I don’t think three days is going to make a big difference.” Today I just said, “Thanks, but I will just pay today.”
As I left the tax office I just wanted to cry. Not because I owed more in taxes then I thought, but because the reality of my sin over the years hit me. I have been a mean, nasty person for a long time. I have had a sense of entitlement. A sense of “you are here to make sure my life goes nice and smooth and if it doesn’t, it is your fault and you should fix it.” I was saying it is all about me. I realized that I have been a bully. I am grateful that the Lord is working in my heart and changing me. I am grateful that He is making me aware of who I was and showing me how ugly, sinful, and hurtful that was and how that person didn’t bring Him glory, but it grieves me that I went that many years thinking I was “assertive” when in reality I was aggressive, and mean. I hurt people, contributed to their bad days, demanded my own way and the list goes on and on.
I want to be careful not to fall into condemnation which would be easy to do at this point but instead to be convicted of my sin, learn and grow from it and be so grateful for the Lord’s grace and mercy and work on the cross to not leave me there in my sin. My parents have told me over the years that I am aggressive but I didn’t really listen to them. The Lord finally opened my ears to hear and eyes to see. I am grateful for forgiveness. I am grateful for new mercies every morning. Thank you Lord once again for loving me enough to not leave me where I am.
(added 4/13/07- I had to laugh today - My new cell phone battery that I have had for about two weeks is only lasting about 30 minutes. I called Verizon. I thanked them for their help.)
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