Accountability

I believe in accountability. I think left to our own, we will grow cold and stray from the path the Lord would have for us. Well, I am being held accountable for something that I have never been held accountable for. Actually, it is funny to even say what it is. My pastor's wife met with me this weekend. I had my mom and one friend after another call me daily or every other day this past week to make sure I was ok. Everyone came to the same conclusion.

So what am I being held accountable for? I am being held accountable to not work so much. I have been going to bed after 1 a.m. every night due to working and trying to get everything done. At least one night a week I go to bed around 3:30 a.m. and get up the next day around 7:30 a.m.

I had this silly belief that I should do everything my boss asks me to do. Because he expects me to do everything, I have been doing everything. It is required for my job.

So what am I doing instead? I am going to work really hard. But I am going to ask the Lord every day, "What do you want me to do today? When do you want me to start? When do you want me to end my day?" I will do everything God wants me to do, not my boss.

If I believe the Lord only wants me to work until 9 pm, and at 9 pm my report isn't done, then I will trust the Lord, and leave the rest in His hands. I will trust Him for the consequences for not having the report handed in on time. I can't go on only sleeping some nights only 4 hours a night.

This will be hard for me, hence the accountability. My boss lately has been calling and asking that I hand in reports or information even before they are due. I draw the line there. Actually, I am going to be drawing the line even before that. I need to get a good night's sleep to be able to do my job well.

Pray that the Lord will give me wisdom. Pray that I will be able to deal with any repercussions for not handing my reports in when they are due. Pray that the Lord will increase my productivity so that I can accomplish more in less time.

I am grateful for faithful friends willing to hold me accountable so that I do not go insane.

I went to a mental health training today. The trainer asked what our thoughts were on mental health. I shared that due to the craziness of the job and intense amount of paperwork, I wasn't sure how great my mental health was anymore. I went on to share that due to the lack of sleep from working all the time, I can understand mental health problems a little better now. The trainer looked at me a little funny. I had to chuckle a little at the look on her face. The funny thing is that I was sitting next to 5 other people that do the same job I do. They all looked at me like they knew exactly what I was talking about. Then I went out to lunch with a few of them, and they described feeling just like I do. Soooo maybe I am not really crazy after all! It really is the job that's crazy, not me!

I am calling it quits for the night and by God's grace I was able to complete my report and hand it in on time.

Thank you Lord for faithful friends, and sweet rest.